Time to face the music

I started this blog with the intention of using it to mark my progress in weight loss along with just posting about my thoughts on different things because I enjoy creative writing. I have pretty much ignored the weight loss issue.

Until this week. In the last 36 hours I have had my weight pointed out twice.

Thursday my dad made a comment to my kids that I wasn't supposed to hear. My youngest came unglued. She was so angry that she called him on it. I don't know if he didn't mean for her to hear, or if he didn't even realize he said it, but either way, he said it, she heard it and so did I. Yes, it is the truth, but as the old saying goes, the truth hurts. Last night we went to a Mexican restaurant. It is new in town, and we thought we'd give it a try. I ordered a pop. When my order came, one taste told me it was a diet drink. I didn't order a diet drink. I hate diet drinks, but I kept my mouth shut and drank it anyway. The waiter came and my husband ordered another drink, and the waiter asked me if I wanted one. I said yes, and he said 'Diet, right?' I said 'No, regular.' He looked confused for a minute, and then embarrassed. I said, 'It's okay, don't worry about it.' He brought me another drink, and took away the diet drink, but he looked uncomfortable every time he came to our table, although I pretended nothing was wrong.

I hate to diet. I hate to exercise. I love fast food. I love chocolate. I love ice cream. I work full time and am always in a hurry, and convenience foods are easy, but usually fattening. My kids don't like 'diet' or 'healthy' foods.

But, I also hate the way I look right now. I hate that my father makes comments about my appearance, which I have let go. I don't shop for clothes, so I look pretty ragged right now.

I know what I need to do, but it's so HARD!

So, I just need to bite the bullet and get started.